Wednesday, February 22, 2017

“Ode to The Menopause” by Ali Hammond

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

~~ Coco Chanel

“I wrote this as a poem, about a year ago, but thought it would be fun to turn it in to a little song...so for all ladies of a certain age out there.. like myself,,, I hope this light hearted look at what we have to face, makes you smile.. and as for my gentleman friends... Listen with caution!!! :)” (Ali Hammond)


Ode to Menopause


Standing in the kitchen, eating gherkins
Looking more psychotic than Tony Perkins…
Oh the menopause, will it ever end!
One good thing, I don't need central heating,
My body's got more fuel than the Empire State Building..Oh the menopause, will it ever end!
Now I remember days when I had a glowing blush
Now I just look like i 've been dragged through a bush!
So tell me now, will it ever end..this change of life thing..is driving me round the bend.
Don't knock on my door when i'm feeling this way, I can assure you, you won't want to stay
Oh, the menopause will it ever end
I'm sweet, i'm sour, i'm chemically insane
I make everyone, feel my pain
Oh the menopause will it ever end
Now..don't stand there with that knife,I might be stood behind you..and i won't think twice
So tell me now will it ever end..this change of life thing..is driving me round the bend!
Now don't look my way, i'll turn you to stone
I'm a Gorgon on Valium, who needs a good home...Oh the menopause, will it ever end
I shout,I scream, I eat too much ice cream
My memories gone ..who are you..where' you from?
Oh the menopause will it ever end
Now i remember a time i used to laugh..but now i even wear a diaper in the bath
I put my shoes in the fridge,,i'm a hormonal witch,,perhaps I should just jump of a bridge
Oh the menopause..when will it end...

2012

Author: Ali Hammand


About the Author:


A bit of an ageing, free spirited hippie, singer songwriter, poet and artist, who has a passion for animals, animal welfare, nature, the planet… and like-minded people! (From Ali Hammand Facebook profile).

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