Nature gives you the face you have at
twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
~~
Coco Chanel
“I wrote this as a poem, about a year ago, but thought it
would be fun to turn it in to a little song...so for all ladies of a certain
age out there.. like myself,,, I hope this light hearted look at what we have
to face, makes you smile.. and as for my gentleman friends... Listen with
caution!!! :)” (Ali Hammond)
Ode to Menopause
Standing in the kitchen, eating gherkins
Looking more psychotic than Tony Perkins…
Oh the menopause, will it ever end!
One good thing, I don't need central heating,
My body's got more fuel than the Empire State
Building..Oh the menopause, will it ever end!
Now I remember days when I had a glowing blush
Now I just look like i 've been dragged through a bush!
So tell me now, will it ever end..this change of life
thing..is driving me round the bend.
Don't knock on my door when i'm feeling this way, I can
assure you, you won't want to stay
Oh, the menopause will it ever end
I'm sweet, i'm sour, i'm chemically insane
I make everyone, feel my pain
Oh the menopause will it ever end
Now..don't stand there with that knife,I might be stood
behind you..and i won't think twice
So tell me now will it ever end..this change of life
thing..is driving me round the bend!
Now don't look my way, i'll turn you to stone
I'm a Gorgon on Valium, who needs a good home...Oh the
menopause, will it ever end
I shout,I scream, I eat too much ice cream
My memories gone ..who are you..where' you from?
Oh the menopause will it ever end
Now i remember a time i used to laugh..but now i even
wear a diaper in the bath
I put my shoes in the fridge,,i'm a hormonal
witch,,perhaps I should just jump of a bridge
Oh the menopause..when will it end...
2012
Author: Ali Hammand
About the Author:
A bit of an ageing, free spirited hippie, singer
songwriter, poet and artist, who has a passion for animals, animal welfare,
nature, the planet… and like-minded people! (From Ali Hammand Facebook
profile).
