We can speculate as much as we can how the menopause life stage can be great for the woman, and that is actually no brainer. However, aging process per se is associated with mostly negative changes to the female body looks and health. While we cannot stop the process and reverse the changes in most cases, we are in power to slow them down to the large degree.
One of the beneficial anti-aging approaches is… kissing as much as possible. It not just gives you pleasant vibes and improves your mood, but serves as strong positive factor of slowing down aging processes and giving multiple health benefits to both the body and the soul.
Evolutionary Role of Kissing
Kissing is a uniquely human trait that has said to emerge as a way to pass germs from one person to another, ultimately building immunity. British scientists believe it developed to spread germs. They say that the uniquely human habit allows a bug that is dangerous in pregnancy to be passed from man to woman to give her time to build up immunity. Cytomegalovirus, which lurks in saliva, normally causes no problems. But it can be extremely dangerous if caught while pregnant and can kill unborn babies or cause birth defects. These can include problems ranging from deafness to cerebral palsy. Kissing the same person for about six months provides optimum protection. As the relationship progresses and the kisses become more passionate, her immunity builds up.
But, that is rather unromantic, isn’t it? While it seems plausible that kissing would have an underlying biological function, there is also no denying its role in bonding...
The erotic kiss (as opposed to the kiss of respect, friendship, courtesy, or parent-child) is recognized in most cultures around the world. The vast majority of adults all over the globe have experienced the awkwardness, excitement, confusion and pleasure of it. But one must admit that on its face the practice of kissing is more than a bit strange. Why would the exchange of saliva and dinner salad remnants be considered a desirable event, a ritual of passion? Given that the erotic kiss is so common, it must play an important role in the dance of human sexuality. But what exactly is that role?
Opinions among scholars differ as to the function and origins of kissing. One hypothesis is that the kiss has evolved as a mechanism for gathering information about potential sexual partners. A kiss brings us into close physical proximity with the other, close enough to smell and taste them. The face area is rich with glands secreting chemicals that carry genetic and immunological information. Our saliva carries hormonal messages. A person's breath, as well as the taste of their lips and the feel of their teeth, signals things about their health and hygiene, and thus their procreative suitability.
Another hypothesis claims that the kiss functions primarily on the level of psychology, as a way to express and reinforce feelings of trust, closeness, and intimacy with another. Just like the clicking of wine glasses allows us to bring hearing into the sensory experience of drinking (which already involves all the other senses), so the kiss allows us to invite the senses of taste and smell to partake in the celebration of intimacy and make the event deeper and more complete. In addition, when we kiss someone, we bring that person into our vulnerable personal space and agree to take the risk of catching an infection or disease. A kiss is therefore an implicit expression of openness and trust. A kiss also shows that you do not recoil from the other’s bodily fluids. Recent research has suggested that sexual arousal, especially among women, functions to suppress feelings of disgust. In this context, the kiss may serve as evidence and expression of sexual arousal. This theory predicts that kissing will not be an integral part of sexual activities where genuine desire and intimacy are absent. Indeed, the kiss is not common among sex workers and their clients, or rapists and their prey.
An additional line of thinking has focused on the kiss as a means of seduction and sexual stimulation. Women's lips, it is difficult to deny, resemble the labia. The practice of women around the world of coloring their lips red—a color linked to sexual arousal—suggests the role the lips play in seduction. Research has suggested that men prefer wetter kisses, with more involvement of the tongue than do women. The tongue, it is difficult to deny, is a phallic organ. The combination of a moist open mouth and a penetrating tongue simulate intercourse quite distinctly, and give easy rise to sexual imagining and, perhaps, sexual excitement. In addition, some researchers speculate that the male preference for wet kisses is related to the fact that male saliva contains testosterone, a hormone linked to sexual arousal in both genders. A wet kiss may deposit testosterone into the woman's mouth, thereby acting to increase her sexual arousal.
The evolutionary anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in New Jersey has proposed an integrated theory of the role of kissing. According to Fisher, the kiss plays a role in the each of the three phases of our evolved reproductive strategy: first, the kiss helps inspire and direct the libido, which causes us to desire sex with multiple partners. Later, the kiss works to stoke the fires of romantic love, the deep infatuation that motivates us to choose one of many partners. Finally, the kiss helps us sustain and reinforce the ongoing attachment bonds, which allow us to endure together long enough to raise our children (our gene carriers) into sexual maturity.
Health Benefits of Kissing
Kissing not only feels good, it is also good for your health, for your body, and for your spirit. It relieves stress and releases epinephrine into your blood, making it pump faster, which may result in a reduction of LDL cholesterol. Kissing may even be a novel way to receive certain hormones, like testosterone:
'Mucous membranes inside the mouth are permeable to hormones such as testosterone. Through open-mouth kissing, men introduced testosterone into a woman’s mouth,' which 'is absorbed through the mucous membranes… and increases arousal and the likelihood that she will engage in reproductive behavior.
Andréa Demirjian, author of Kissing: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about One of Life's Sweetest Pleasures, believes “a kiss a day really can keep the doctor away.”
Let’s review the more obvious reasons to kiss as much as possible:
1. Reduce Your Blood Pressure
Making out isn't just good for your emotional heart; it gives your anatomical one a workout, too. Kissing passionately gets your heartbeat revved in a healthy way that helps lower your blood pressure. It dilates your blood vessels -- blood is flowing in a good, solid fashion and getting to all your vital organs.
2. Relieve Cramps and Headaches
The blood-vessel-dilation effect described above also helps to relieve pain, particularly from headache or menstrual cramps. You may be inclined to wave away advances when you are curled into an achy ball, but the blood-vessel dilation brought on by a good long smooching session can really help ease your pain.
3. Fight Cavities
When you kiss, saliva production increases in your mouth, and this helps to wash away plaque on your teeth that may lead to cavities. That said, cavity-causing bacteria can also be transmitted via a kiss, especially if the person you’re kissing has poor oral habits. It has even been shown that cavity-causing bacteria can spread from a mother’s kiss to her baby.
4. Release Your Happy Hormones
Kissing prompts your brain to release a happy elixir of feel-good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. This isn’t only important for your happiness, it also may also help to strengthen your relationship. As MSN reported: “’This [oxytocin] is the hormone of love, and the better the oxytocin levels, the more capacity for love,’ explains psychotherapist Arthur Janov, Ph.D., author of ‘The Biology of Love’ and the director of the Primal Center in Santa Monica, Calif. ‘We have found that those who cannot commit in a love relationship are low in oxytocin.’”
Interestingly, kissing activates the same areas in your brain linked to reward and addiction. According to the researchers who revealed this finding: “Kissing may have evolved as a way to stimulate brain systems associated with sex drive, romantic love, and attachment so that humans are triggered to seek a variety of potential mates, then focus attention on one for mating, and finally be able to tolerate that mate long enough to raise a child as a team.”
Your lips are also densely packed with sensory neurons, which are stimulated by the touch of another’s lips. This prompts the release of sebum, which is thought to play a role in bonding.
5. Burn Calories
It is not going to replace your workout session… but a vigorous kiss may burn 8-16 calories. Not too shabby for a kiss.
6. Boost Your Self-Esteem
One study found that men who received a passionate kiss before they left for work earned more money. This suggests the kiss (and perhaps the happy home-life it suggests) makes people happier, boosts self-esteem and, ultimately, more productive at work.
7. Tone Your Facial Muscles
A vigorous kiss helps you shape up your neck and jawline by working out a number of facial muscles. Kissing involves 34 facial muscles, and 112 postural muscles. The most important muscle involved in the peck is the orbicularis oris – as it puckers the lips.
8. Check Out Your Partner’s Compatibility
A kiss can be a powerful measure of your initial attraction to a person, so much so that the majority of men and women surveyed reporting that a first kiss could be a turn-off. Women, in particular, place more importance on kissing as a “mate assessment device” and as a means of “initiating, maintaining, and monitoring the current status of their relationship with a long-term partner.”
9. Boost Immune System
Kissing has been shown to boost your immune system and reduce allergic responses in people with skin or nasal allergies. For example, a recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says kissing may increase a woman’s immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. Otherwise, the bug is relatively harmless in adults. Kissing has long been thought to be a way to pass along bugs and thus strengthen the body’s defenses.
Kissing decreases IgE antibodies in the blood that are responsible for the release of histamine. Histamine release in the blood stream causes allergy symptoms such as sneezing and watery eyes. Therefore, more kissing means less sneezing and histamine release.
10. Relieve Stress
Recent research revealed that people who spent six weeks making kissing a priority with their partners reported significant decreases in their levels of stress. In addition to improvements in stress, the kissing participants also reported greater relationship satisfaction and improvements in total cholesterol.
Best Known Methods for Good Kissing
You think you know how to kiss. You think you are a Pro! Well, still it is good to check what the kissing experts are proposing. It is especially important to start it right if you are opening up a new relationship. The first kiss is always a necessary risk; a recent psychology study found that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women reported breaking things off with a prospective partner because of the partner being a bad kisser.
Yes, kissing is not always something that comes naturally – it is an art that needs to be learned, practiced, and improved upon. If you would like to improve your kissing skills, here are a number of good kissing tips to try, even if it is the first time you are kissing someone.
Some kisses will be spontaneous and catch you off guard, and some are simply “greeting” kisses and are not meant to be passionate. But when you’re planning for a make-out session that could lead to something more, the first of many kissing tips you need to follow is making sure you are adequately prepared.
So how do you prep yourself for some good kissing action? For starters, you will want to smell good — all over your body. The sense of smell is a sensual part of the whole art of kissing and you want to make sure your overall scent takes his breath away and makes him want to kiss you more. A light lotion on your skin is a good idea, which will produce a pleasant scent and also make your skin soft and smooth.
Make sure you also put on some deodorant and a hint (not too much) of a complementary body spray or perfume. Lingering scents that are not too strong are made by taking a bath with soft, natural oil. Lavender and rose oil extract are popular and romantic.
Do not forget about your breath. Your breath is an important factor when kissing — good or bad — and far too often women forgo this seemingly obvious yet important kissing technique. Bad breath is not just an issue for men. Brushing your teeth every morning and night is great, but make sure you give them an extra scrub (with minty toothpaste) before your kissing session. Remember to brush your tongue, too, because it can harbor unpleasant germs and bacteria.
If you struggle with bad breath, you may want to use a bacteria-fighting mouthwash, suck on some mints, or chew some fresh gum — but remember to spit it out before you start kissing! If the problem persists, consult your doctor or dentist.
Another important consideration when boosting your kissing skills is the condition of your lips and makeup. Your lips should be soft, supple and, well, kissable — not slimy or rough. You may want to “exfoliate” some of the dead skin cells off your lips. After applying some lip balm or even just water, gently rub your lips with an old toothbrush.
Also, think about your makeup. A touch of tasteful, natural-looking makeup is fine, but do not overdo it. Many men do not like a lot of make-up while kissing, especially because lipstick can smear all over their face and clothes. A little bit of lip balm should do the trick.
A kiss is intimate and conveys passion and desire. It is a form of body communication, which expresses more than words ever could. Your kiss is also very personal, it will change depending on whom you are kissing and why.
A nervous, first-time kiss with a certain someone is going to be different, mechanically speaking, from the kiss between a couple that has been together a long time. Yet both convey desire and a need between two people. An honest kiss delivers more than the touch of lips. It opens the heart and soul.
You do not want to be too forward, but keep in mind that some guys like it when a woman makes the first move, especially if they have been together for a while. For the first few kisses, go nice and slow, and kiss gently.
French Kissing Tips
If you want to know how to be a good kisser that creates that “butterfly in the stomach” feeling, begin with a light brush of the hand on the face or nape of the neck. Hold there, for just a moment -- long enough for him to want more but not so long that he starts thinking about something else.
The next step is to move toward him, face to face. Let him know with eye contact that you want his kiss and that he really wants yours. Brush your lips on his gently at first, and then slowly open your mouth. The art of kissing is heightened when you close your eyes when your mouth opens to his.
Now we move on to French kissing tips for technique.
First, keep your lips soft and slightly opened, in a gently inviting and receptive way. Do not press them together tightly, but also avoid opening them too wide. Drooling and too much saliva is almost always a turn-off for men and women. On the other hand, some women and men like steamy, sloppy, wet kissing. A kiss basically boils down to what the couple finds passionate.
A hot, wet kiss usually starts off strong and invasive. It floods the mouth with a tongue and opens the mouth wide. A wet kiss can sometimes include licking of the lips and around the lips and even the face.
Though it is not something for everyone, but certainly something that some will enjoy, the wet kiss does not think about properness or drool: A wet kiss is generally so intense that neither person notices, or cares.
Keep in mind that not everybody is a fan of the French kiss, women and men included. So do not feel like you have to French kiss to enjoy a healthy and sexy kissing session. Slowly introduce your tongue into his mouth while kissing.
You may want to first use your tongue to gently tickle his lips and/or the edge of his teeth (some men find this very sexy) before connecting your tongue with his. When your tongues do touch, pause to see how he reacts. If it is positive, continue kissing and gently stroke the back of his neck.
French kissing tips include the two basic types of kisses used in the art of kissing: deep tongue and light tongue. Deep tongue invades the mouth and throat; it is an act of sexual appeal and uncompromised strength. Light tongue is a brush of the tips of the tongue on the lips and inside the mouth. This conveys sex appeal and a type of wanting innocence. Both types of kissing are fine; there is no right or wrong way to kiss. Keep in mind, however, that each person prefers a different type of kiss, so if you feel uncomfortable or sense that he is, it’s perfectly fine to stop for a moment and take a breather.
You can always use a cute, flirtatious comment to let him know what type of kiss you want, and remember to ask him what type of kiss he likes. You can also feel out a kissing style by going with his natural flow for a while and then switching to yours if they are different.
Once you have been kissing for a while and you are in a nice “kissing groove,” the key is to go with the flow and just do what feels right. A good kisser never does things that are awkward or forced. You could begin to gently explore his mouth, start kissing other body parts, wrap your arms around him, and slowly move your hands around his body. Try to sense his reception.
Probably one of the best tips for kissing out there is communication. Everyone kisses differently, and everyone likes different things. So do not forget to communicate with your man regarding all things kissing-related. This may be somewhat awkward, especially in the beginning of your relationship. But just like sex, if you don’t talk about it, you’ll never know what he likes, what he doesn’t like, what you are doing right, what you are doing wrong, and how you can improve your kissing technique.
And don’t be afraid to tell him what you like and dislike about the art of kissing. No one is the perfect kisser, and he should be receptive to your feedback and suggestions. If he is not, then maybe it is time to move on and find someone else to kiss! Remember that while these are certainly helpful and useful kissing tips, they are not kissing rules—just guidelines.
There really is no such thing as one perfect kiss that every couple must conquer. Each woman, man, and couple will define their perfect kiss differently and that can change and also come in many forms. Never feel like you have to do something you do not want to, whether it makes you uncomfortable or you just do not enjoy it.
Remember kissing is not just lip to lip. When you are ready, heat things up with a kiss to the neck or below the ear, or even try nibbling on the ears themselves. Sensitive, ticklish areas will leave the skin tingling and the mind wandering. Kiss with your hands too. Try running your fingers up the back of their neck and through their hair.
Most importantly, have fun! While there is some effort involved in perfecting your kissing skills, it should mostly be an enjoyable activity for both of you.
For The Art of Kissing, William Cane asked men what their biggest complaints and desires were regarding kissing. Here are the takeaways from the research, based on the male feedback:
ü Open your mouth more. Research shows men prefer “wetter kisses with more tongue action.”
ü Initiate more.
ü Be more aggressive with your tongue and take an active part in the kiss.
Well, you could probably sum them all up by now, saying: Stop holding back! Be open to a new experience, and be more proactive, when you have somebody you want to kiss, and there is a suitable moment and mood for intimacy.
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