We can speculate as much as we can how the menopause life
stage can be great for the woman, and that is actually no brainer. However,
aging process per se is associated with mostly negative changes to the female
body looks and health. While we cannot stop the process and reverse the changes
in most cases, we are in power to slow them down to the large degree.
One of the beneficial anti-aging approaches is… kissing
as much as possible. It not just gives you pleasant vibes and improves your
mood, but serves as strong positive factor of slowing down aging processes and
giving multiple health benefits to both the body and the soul.
Evolutionary Role of Kissing
Kissing is a uniquely human trait that has said to emerge
as a way to pass germs from one person to another, ultimately building
immunity. British scientists believe it developed to spread germs. They say
that the uniquely human habit allows a bug that is dangerous in pregnancy to be
passed from man to woman to give her time to build up immunity.
Cytomegalovirus, which lurks in saliva, normally causes no problems. But it can
be extremely dangerous if caught while pregnant and can kill unborn babies or
cause birth defects. These can include problems ranging from deafness to
cerebral palsy. Kissing the same person for about six months provides optimum protection.
As the relationship progresses and the kisses become more passionate, her
immunity builds up.
But, that is rather unromantic, isn’t it? While it seems
plausible that kissing would have an underlying biological function, there is
also no denying its role in bonding...
The erotic kiss (as opposed to the kiss of respect,
friendship, courtesy, or parent-child) is recognized in most cultures around
the world. The vast majority of adults all over the globe have experienced the
awkwardness, excitement, confusion and pleasure of it. But one must admit that
on its face the practice of kissing is more than a bit strange. Why would the
exchange of saliva and dinner salad remnants be considered a desirable event, a
ritual of passion? Given that the erotic kiss is so common, it must play an
important role in the dance of human sexuality. But what exactly is that role?
Opinions among scholars differ as to the function and
origins of kissing. One hypothesis is that the kiss has evolved as a mechanism
for gathering information about potential sexual partners. A kiss brings us
into close physical proximity with the other, close enough to smell and taste
them. The face area is rich with glands secreting chemicals that carry genetic
and immunological information. Our saliva carries hormonal messages. A person's
breath, as well as the taste of their lips and the feel of their teeth, signals
things about their health and hygiene, and thus their procreative suitability.
Another hypothesis claims that the kiss functions
primarily on the level of psychology, as a way to express and reinforce
feelings of trust, closeness, and intimacy with another. Just like the clicking
of wine glasses allows us to bring hearing into the sensory experience of
drinking (which already involves all the other senses), so the kiss allows us
to invite the senses of taste and smell to partake in the celebration of
intimacy and make the event deeper and more complete. In addition, when we kiss
someone, we bring that person into our vulnerable personal space and agree to
take the risk of catching an infection or disease. A kiss is therefore an
implicit expression of openness and trust. A kiss also shows that you do not
recoil from the other’s bodily fluids. Recent research has suggested that
sexual arousal, especially among women, functions to suppress feelings of
disgust. In this context, the kiss may serve as evidence and expression of
sexual arousal. This theory predicts that kissing will not be an integral part
of sexual activities where genuine desire and intimacy are absent. Indeed, the
kiss is not common among sex workers and their clients, or rapists and their
prey.
An additional line of thinking has focused on the kiss as
a means of seduction and sexual stimulation. Women's lips, it is difficult to
deny, resemble the labia. The practice of women around the world of coloring
their lips red—a color linked to sexual arousal—suggests the role the lips play
in seduction. Research has suggested that men prefer wetter kisses, with more
involvement of the tongue than do women. The tongue, it is difficult to deny,
is a phallic organ. The combination of a moist open mouth and a penetrating
tongue simulate intercourse quite distinctly, and give easy rise to sexual
imagining and, perhaps, sexual excitement. In addition, some researchers
speculate that the male preference for wet kisses is related to the fact that
male saliva contains testosterone, a hormone linked to sexual arousal in both
genders. A wet kiss may deposit testosterone into the woman's mouth, thereby
acting to increase her sexual arousal.
The evolutionary anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University
in New Jersey has proposed an integrated theory of the role of kissing.
According to Fisher, the kiss plays a role in the each of the three phases of
our evolved reproductive strategy: first, the kiss helps inspire and direct the
libido, which causes us to desire sex with multiple partners. Later, the kiss
works to stoke the fires of romantic love, the deep infatuation that motivates
us to choose one of many partners. Finally, the kiss helps us sustain and
reinforce the ongoing attachment bonds, which allow us to endure together long
enough to raise our children (our gene carriers) into sexual maturity.
Health Benefits of Kissing
Kissing not only feels good, it is also good for your
health, for your body, and for your spirit. It relieves stress and releases
epinephrine into your blood, making it pump faster, which may result in a
reduction of LDL cholesterol. Kissing may even be a novel way to receive
certain hormones, like testosterone:
'Mucous membranes inside the mouth are permeable to
hormones such as testosterone. Through open-mouth kissing, men introduced
testosterone into a woman’s mouth,' which 'is absorbed through the mucous
membranes… and increases arousal and the likelihood that she will engage in
reproductive behavior.
Andréa Demirjian, author of Kissing: Everything You Ever
Wanted to Know about One of Life's Sweetest Pleasures, believes “a kiss a day
really can keep the doctor away.”
Let’s review the more obvious reasons to kiss as much as
possible:
1.
Reduce Your Blood Pressure
Making out isn't just good for your emotional heart; it
gives your anatomical one a workout, too. Kissing passionately gets your
heartbeat revved in a healthy way that helps lower your blood pressure. It
dilates your blood vessels -- blood is flowing in a good, solid fashion and
getting to all your vital organs.
2.
Relieve Cramps and Headaches
The blood-vessel-dilation effect described above also
helps to relieve pain, particularly from headache or menstrual cramps. You may
be inclined to wave away advances when you are curled into an achy ball, but
the blood-vessel dilation brought on by a good long smooching session can
really help ease your pain.
3.
Fight Cavities
When you kiss, saliva production increases in your mouth,
and this helps to wash away plaque on your teeth that may lead to cavities.
That said, cavity-causing bacteria can also be transmitted via a kiss,
especially if the person you’re kissing has poor oral habits. It has even been
shown that cavity-causing bacteria can spread from a mother’s kiss to her baby.
4.
Release Your Happy Hormones
Kissing prompts your brain to release a happy elixir of
feel-good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. This isn’t only
important for your happiness, it also may also help to strengthen your
relationship. As MSN reported: “’This [oxytocin] is the hormone of love,
and the better the oxytocin levels, the more capacity for love,’ explains
psychotherapist Arthur Janov, Ph.D., author of ‘The Biology of Love’ and the
director of the Primal Center in Santa Monica, Calif. ‘We have found that those
who cannot commit in a love relationship are low in oxytocin.’”
Interestingly, kissing activates the same areas in your
brain linked to reward and addiction. According to the researchers who revealed
this finding: “Kissing may have evolved as a way to stimulate brain
systems associated with sex drive, romantic love, and attachment so that humans
are triggered to seek a variety of potential mates, then focus attention on one
for mating, and finally be able to tolerate that mate long enough to raise a
child as a team.”
Your lips are also densely packed with sensory neurons,
which are stimulated by the touch of another’s lips. This prompts the release
of sebum, which is thought to play a role in bonding.
5.
Burn Calories
It is not going to replace your workout session… but a
vigorous kiss may burn 8-16 calories. Not too shabby for a kiss.
6.
Boost Your Self-Esteem
One study found that men who received a passionate kiss
before they left for work earned more money. This suggests the kiss (and
perhaps the happy home-life it suggests) makes people happier, boosts
self-esteem and, ultimately, more productive at work.
7.
Tone Your Facial Muscles
A vigorous kiss helps you shape up your neck and jawline
by working out a number of facial muscles. Kissing involves 34 facial muscles,
and 112 postural muscles. The most important muscle involved in the peck is the
orbicularis oris – as it puckers the lips.
8.
Check Out Your Partner’s Compatibility
A kiss can be a powerful measure of your initial
attraction to a person, so much so that the majority of men and women surveyed
reporting that a first kiss could be a turn-off. Women, in particular, place
more importance on kissing as a “mate assessment device” and as a means of
“initiating, maintaining, and monitoring the current status of their
relationship with a long-term partner.”
9.
Boost Immune System
Kissing has been shown to boost your immune system and
reduce allergic responses in people with skin or nasal allergies. For example,
a recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says kissing may
increase a woman’s immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted
through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth
defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. Otherwise, the bug is
relatively harmless in adults. Kissing has long been thought to be a way to
pass along bugs and thus strengthen the body’s defenses.
Kissing decreases IgE antibodies in the blood that are
responsible for the release of histamine. Histamine release in the blood stream
causes allergy symptoms such as sneezing and watery eyes. Therefore, more
kissing means less sneezing and histamine release.
10.
Relieve Stress
Recent research revealed that people who spent six weeks
making kissing a priority with their partners reported significant decreases in
their levels of stress. In addition to improvements in stress, the kissing
participants also reported greater relationship satisfaction and improvements
in total cholesterol.
Best Known Methods for Good Kissing
You think you know how to kiss. You think you are a Pro!
Well, still it is good to check what the kissing experts are proposing. It is
especially important to start it right if you are opening up a new
relationship. The first kiss is always a necessary risk; a recent psychology
study found that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women reported breaking
things off with a prospective partner because of the partner being a bad
kisser.
Yes, kissing is not always something that comes naturally
– it is an art that needs to be learned, practiced, and improved upon. If
you would like to improve your kissing skills, here are a number of good
kissing tips to try, even if it is the first time you are kissing someone.
Kissing Preparation
Some kisses will be spontaneous and catch you off guard,
and some are simply “greeting” kisses and are not meant to be passionate. But
when you’re planning for a make-out session that could lead to something more,
the first of many kissing tips you need to follow is making sure you are
adequately prepared.
So how do you prep yourself for some good kissing action?
For starters, you will want to smell good — all over your body. The sense of
smell is a sensual part of the whole art of kissing and you want to make sure
your overall scent takes his breath away and makes him want to kiss you more. A
light lotion on your skin is a good idea, which will produce a pleasant scent
and also make your skin soft and smooth.
Make sure you also put on some deodorant and a hint (not
too much) of a complementary body spray or perfume. Lingering scents that
are not too strong are made by taking a bath with soft, natural oil. Lavender
and rose oil extract are popular and romantic.
Do not forget about your breath. Your breath is an
important factor when kissing — good or bad — and far too often women forgo
this seemingly obvious yet important kissing technique. Bad breath is not just
an issue for men. Brushing your teeth every morning and night is great, but
make sure you give them an extra scrub (with minty toothpaste) before your
kissing session. Remember to brush your tongue, too, because it can harbor
unpleasant germs and bacteria.
If you struggle with bad breath, you may want to use a
bacteria-fighting mouthwash, suck on some mints, or chew some fresh gum — but
remember to spit it out before you start kissing! If the problem persists,
consult your doctor or dentist.
Another important consideration when boosting your
kissing skills is the condition of your lips and makeup. Your lips should be
soft, supple and, well, kissable — not slimy or rough. You may want to
“exfoliate” some of the dead skin cells off your lips. After applying some lip
balm or even just water, gently rub your lips with an old toothbrush.
Also, think about your makeup. A touch of tasteful,
natural-looking makeup is fine, but do not overdo it. Many men do not like a
lot of make-up while kissing, especially because lipstick can smear all over
their face and clothes. A little bit of lip balm should do the trick.
A kiss is intimate and conveys passion and desire. It is
a form of body communication, which expresses more than words ever could. Your
kiss is also very personal, it will change depending on whom you are kissing
and why.
A nervous, first-time kiss with a certain someone is
going to be different, mechanically speaking, from the kiss between a couple
that has been together a long time. Yet both convey desire and a need between
two people. An honest kiss delivers more than the touch of lips. It opens the
heart and soul.
You do not want to be too forward, but keep in mind that
some guys like it when a woman makes the first move, especially if they have
been together for a while. For the first few kisses, go nice and slow, and kiss
gently.
French Kissing Tips
If you want to know how to be a good kisser that creates
that “butterfly in the stomach” feeling, begin with a light brush of the hand
on the face or nape of the neck. Hold there, for just a moment -- long enough
for him to want more but not so long that he starts thinking about something
else.
The next step is to move toward him, face to face. Let
him know with eye contact that you want his kiss and that he really wants
yours. Brush your lips on his gently at first, and then slowly open your mouth.
The art of kissing is heightened when you close your eyes when your mouth opens
to his.
Now we move on to French kissing tips for technique.
First, keep your lips soft and slightly opened, in a
gently inviting and receptive way. Do not press them together tightly, but also
avoid opening them too wide. Drooling and too much saliva is almost always a
turn-off for men and women. On the other hand, some women and men like steamy,
sloppy, wet kissing. A kiss basically boils down to what the couple finds
passionate.
A hot, wet kiss usually starts off strong and invasive.
It floods the mouth with a tongue and opens the mouth wide. A wet kiss can
sometimes include licking of the lips and around the lips and even the face.
Though it is not something for everyone, but certainly
something that some will enjoy, the wet kiss does not think about properness or
drool: A wet kiss is generally so intense that neither person notices, or
cares.
Keep in mind that not everybody is a fan of the French
kiss, women and men included. So do not feel like you have to French kiss to
enjoy a healthy and sexy kissing session. Slowly introduce your tongue into his
mouth while kissing.
You may want to first use your tongue to gently tickle
his lips and/or the edge of his teeth (some men find this very sexy) before
connecting your tongue with his. When your tongues do touch, pause to see how
he reacts. If it is positive, continue kissing and gently stroke the back of
his neck.
French kissing tips include the two basic types of kisses
used in the art of kissing: deep tongue and light tongue. Deep tongue invades
the mouth and throat; it is an act of sexual appeal and uncompromised
strength. Light tongue is a brush of the tips of the tongue on the lips
and inside the mouth. This conveys sex appeal and a type of wanting innocence.
Both types of kissing are fine; there is no right or wrong way to kiss. Keep in
mind, however, that each person prefers a different type of kiss, so if you
feel uncomfortable or sense that he is, it’s perfectly fine to stop for a
moment and take a breather.
You can always use a cute, flirtatious comment to let him
know what type of kiss you want, and remember to ask him what type of kiss he
likes. You can also feel out a kissing style by going with his natural flow for
a while and then switching to yours if they are different.
Once you have been kissing for a while and you are in a
nice “kissing groove,” the key is to go with the flow and just do what feels
right. A good kisser never does things that are awkward or forced. You could
begin to gently explore his mouth, start kissing other body parts, wrap your
arms around him, and slowly move your hands around his body. Try to sense his
reception.
Kissing Communication
Probably one of the best tips for kissing out there is
communication. Everyone kisses differently, and everyone likes different
things. So do not forget to communicate with your man regarding all things
kissing-related. This may be somewhat awkward, especially in the beginning of
your relationship. But just like sex, if you don’t talk about it, you’ll never
know what he likes, what he doesn’t like, what you are doing right, what you
are doing wrong, and how you can improve your kissing technique.
And don’t be afraid to tell him what you like and dislike
about the art of kissing. No one is the perfect kisser, and he should be
receptive to your feedback and suggestions. If he is not, then maybe it is time
to move on and find someone else to kiss! Remember that while these are
certainly helpful and useful kissing tips, they are not kissing rules—just
guidelines.
There really is no such thing as one perfect kiss that
every couple must conquer. Each woman, man, and couple will define their perfect
kiss differently and that can change and also come in many forms. Never feel
like you have to do something you do not want to, whether it makes you
uncomfortable or you just do not enjoy it.
Remember kissing is not just lip to lip. When you are
ready, heat things up with a kiss to the neck or below the ear, or even try
nibbling on the ears themselves. Sensitive, ticklish areas will leave the skin
tingling and the mind wandering. Kiss with your hands too. Try running your
fingers up the back of their neck and through their hair.
Most importantly, have fun! While there is some effort
involved in perfecting your kissing skills, it should mostly be an enjoyable
activity for both of you.
Final Advice
For The Art of Kissing, William Cane asked men what their
biggest complaints and desires were regarding kissing. Here are the takeaways
from the research, based on the male feedback:
ü
Open your mouth more. Research shows men prefer
“wetter kisses with more tongue action.”
ü
Initiate more.
ü
Be more aggressive with your tongue and take an
active part in the kiss.
Well, you could probably sum them all up by now, saying:
Stop holding back! Be open to a new experience, and be more proactive, when you
have somebody you want to kiss, and there is a suitable moment and mood for
intimacy.
Sources and Additional Information:
