No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor.
Nature is the best-known example of optimal efficiency; everything in your body serves a purpose, and so does the clitoris. However, did nature accidentally put the clitoris at the wrong side of the vagina entrance?
Of course not! The clitoris is not there to make the woman have an orgasm through being penetrated by the penis. Simply because humans, like practically all mammals (except for sea-mammals and bonobo primates) by nature only do it “doggy style”: The shape of the penis is exactly and equally banana-shaped as the vagina, but only if the woman is penetrated from behind. Therefore, the most acceptable way of the human sexual penetration is the one, when the clitoris is not stimulated at all.
Of course, the woman can try having sort of an orgasm by rubbing her clitoris, through riding on top of the man, but that requires deep penetration in a position that does not match the vagina's shape. Such unnatural penetration abuses the bladder, impairs intestine functioning, causing gasses to originate, and makes your tummy swell.
Definitely, man can come up with all the G-, H- or super V2-spots in the world, the only spot that can give all women a real orgasm, is the clitoris. There is no possible way the clitoris is stimulated through penetration.
Of course, there also are exceptions; like some men for example can climax by touching the feet of a woman, some women can climax through penetration or nipple stimulation.
Purpose of Clitoris
In the female body, hormone levels widely fluctuate, to enable one to become pregnant. To prevent hormones from causing negative side effects, the female body contains a ''reset-button’’, which is commonly known as the clitoris. By having a clitoral orgasm, a lot of oxytocine is released. While sexual arousal also slightly increases oxytocin release, only a real orgasm makes substantial difference. And, the better the orgasm (subjectively) is, the more oxytocin is secreted.
Oxytocin and Fertility
From the male point of view, sex is equal to a sexual intercourse. And, taking such approach, female orgasmic oxytocin release must primarily serve conception, improving sperm transport. However, the sperm itself already contains all the necessary oxytocin. Though female oxytocin plays a role in the menstruation cycle, and does enhance sexual behavior, oxytocin in women is not at all essential to become pregnant. Extra oxytocin in women does not enhance sperm transport, but even decreases pregnancy rate.
Oxytocin is a sex hormone like the others; they all strongly interact. Oxytocin influences LH, FSH, progesterone, and estrogen levels through manipulating LHRH release. Estrogen increases oxytocin release. Progesterone inhibits estrogen-induced oxytocine receptor production.
Therefore, there is no functional connection what so ever between sexual intercourse and female orgasm. To many women, that is not a big surprise, because there is no way they can achieve orgasm through being penetrated.
Physical Purpose of Female Orgasm
Oxytocin is a multifunctional hormone. In pregnant women, oxytocin is required for delivery contractions, and after delivery, oxytocin is essential in lactation. But also in women not pregnant or lactating, oxytocin is always essential. Like other sex hormones (such as estrogen and progesterone), the body always composes and secretes some oxytocin, to influence different processes.
Whenever the uterus contracts, like it does when you are having your period, oxytocin is secreted. By having a clitoral orgasm, much more oxytocin is generated. And these higher oxytocin levels are essential to reset the body for multiple physiological purposes.
Stress increases ACTH- and prolactin release. Oxytocin de-stresses, through regulating prolactin and ACTH-levels. Clitoral orgasms diminish stress. Now you know why you fall asleep after great sex.
Oxytocin released in the brain under stress-free conditions naturally promotes sleep. It has a calming effect, leaving you feeling tranquil and loving, and certainly that helps our path to sleep.
Stress increases prolactin secretion. The excessive prolactin may enhance breast cancer, brain tumors, and leukemia. Oxytocin regulates prolactin secretion. Orgasms therefore decrease cancer risk.
Oxytocin increases dopamine level. Dopamine is known to inhibit excessive prolactin secretion. Like stress, progesterone increases prolactin level too.
Oxytocin also regulates appetite, through receptors in the brain. Oxytocin inhibits appetite to prevent obesity.
You know when you see a woman all of a sudden looking unusually fabulous? How many times have you heard this one: “Oh, I have a new boyfriend and we have lots of great sex? But you think “Bitch, you just went on a diet”. Well sorry to bust your bubble, but it’s the sex, the orgasms and the oxytocin!
Oxytocin is a natural antibiotic, attacking hostile bacteria, decreasing susceptibility to uterine infection.
Oxytocin is anti-psychotic; oxytocin plays an important role in the regulation of normal cognitive functions and behaviors, which are disturbed in schizophrenia. Some forms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are also related to oxytocin dysfunction. Oxytocin also gives you fighting spirit.
Oxytocin plays a key role in meltdown of prior learning in preparation for new learning, like new books in a library have to be catalogued and shelved. Orgasms keep you inquisitive and investigative; ready and hungry for new input.
Several studies indicate that oxytocin inhibits tolerance to addictive drugs, including opiates, cocaine and alcohol, and reduces withdrawal symptoms. It is an antidote to craving, as that craving for drugs, that hunger, is eased with this hormone.
Oxytocin largely enhances self-perception in social situations, amplifying personality traits such as warmth, trust, altruism and openness.
The lust for a clitoral orgasm originates from the physical necessity for 'being reset hormonally'. Like the lust for consuming fruit, originating from the physical necessity to obtain sufficient glucose, when glucose level is low. The better the orgasm, the more oxytocin is released. And like you need glucose in your blood to live, you need great orgasms to be in good health.
A perfect orgasm can only be obtained from total relaxation. Sitting on top of the man is not relaxing; you need to use your muscles and your intestines are deeply troubled by the unnatural penetration. To obtain a perfect orgasm you need to lie down and relax, to enable orgasmic contraction of as many muscles, instead of muscle contractions enforced by your conscious mind.
For a perfect orgasm, you need your imagination, and your fingers / a toy / a showerhead, or you need a partner who loves you, who can satisfy your sexual fantasies, while playing with your clitoris using magic fingers.
Remember: The hormonally perfect orgasm is determined subjectively; not just by having sufficient physical satisfaction, but by the right clitoral stimulus accompanied with the most sexually arousing thought in your mind, or displayed in front of you. Without great orgasms, you will become unhappy physically, and eventually emotionally unhappy too.
Serotonine makes you happy (for example, the popular antidepressant Prozac is based on the serotonine action). Oxytocin influences progesterone and estrogen levels through influencing LHRH release. And, both progesterone and estrogen influence serotonine-receptor activity. You also need sufficient undamaged cholesterol to be able to compose progesterone and estrogen.
The perfect partner really, really loves you, and shares your deepest sexual fantasies. You don't need a partner checking his watch while you are 'working' on your orgasm, trading your orgasm for his. You need a partner sexually aroused by the thought of you climaxing on that particular fantasy or fantasies, or in that particular situation. You do not just need a healthy relationship, but also to maintain good physical health.
Sexual chemistry means sharing the same sexual preferences. You may love somebody endlessly for years without sharing sexual preferences / fantasies; that will not at all give you perfect orgasms. And, sometimes, you might get incredible orgasms from somebody you just met, simply because you are sexually compatible.
If your partner is not your perfect partner sexually, either you did not open up about sexual fantasies yet, or he / she unable ever to become your perfect sex partner due to the sexual incompatibility or lack of genuine interest in making you happy and satisfied. Knowing someone longer will not change yours, or your partner's, sexual preference.
Because you need great orgasms for almost the rest of your life, either you need to give these to yourself, or you have to find yourself a perfect sex partner.
To find a perfect sex partner, you need to be very aware of your own sexual preferences. If not, you will be 'sending the wrong signals', and you will not be able to identify who is perfect for you.
Sex: The Difference
Experts claim that the needs for sex in women is fundamentally different from those of men.
Women can be sexually aroused by either the lust for orgasm, or the lust for sexual intercourse, or by both. In general, women much more lust for orgasm, than for being penetrated. The lust for orgasm originates from the physical need to get reset, as it was presented earlier. To obtain strong and pleasurable orgasm, feelings of total relaxation and comfort are mostly essential. Cuddling increases oxytocin release, stimulating sexual arousal in women. Just as cannabis / marijuana is sexually arousing in women too, and helps to de-stress and open up your mind to fantasies that may be “politically incorrect” and “borderline-acceptable” to yourself.
The lust for copulation originates from the need to reproduce. But since women do not obtain orgasm through being penetrated, the instinctive 'need' to reproduce is often translated into a 'rape' – a fantasy, in which the woman mostly is only 'raped' by the man of her choice, and when and how she wishes.
Understand and accept that – you do not have to be “horny” all the time. Sometimes women just want to cuddle, because there is no physical need for excessive oxytocin (too much oxytocin is bad too) and there is no lust for being penetrated either.
By nature, a man's territory is as big as the number of women he copulates with. Both the need to expand his territory and the need to reproduce are translated into the lust to copulate with as many fertile women as possible. In general men are immediately sexually aroused and ready to penetrate when there is an opportunity to have sex with a fertile woman. To men, sex naturally is penetration and ejaculation. Nothing more, nothing less.
The male sex-drive is based on aggression, to stimulate conquest, and if necessary resulting in raping the woman. A resisting female mostly enhances male arousal. Males therefore, are bigger and stronger, to be able to enforce sexual intercourse.
Altogether, male lust to copulate is much stronger than the female lust for being penetrated. But, isn't it weird that man and woman do not share the same purpose in sex? It is only weird when considering one-on-one relationships to be normal.
Marriage is Unnatural
In nature, males are designed to produce as much offspring, and to mate with as many different fertile females as possible. And this is still true for humans today; men are dogs, and nobody can deny.
In nature, there are different methods to prevent overpopulation and abuse due to man’s sexual needs.
In monogamous living animals, females are about equally big and strong as males, to prevent males from dominating females, and little offspring is born. Some animals live solitary, and they only meet when the female is in heat. In other animals the females live together in groups, protecting each other against sex-aggressive individuals.
Humans are not monogamous animals either; man is still generally is physically stronger than woman, enabling him to dominate, and enforce sex whenever he wishes. To prevent overpopulation and abuse, by nature, humans do not live one-on-one.
Of course, you might say in our current society man cannot enforce sex anymore, for the woman is protected by law. True, but we cannot deny our heritage: it is in our genes. Living monogamously, there always is, and always will be a sex conflict. Woman needs her orgasms to reset her body, but does not want to be penetrated that much. And man is programmed to expand his territory; to have sex with other women.
In our current society, woman allows her man to copulate with her more than she desires to prevent her man from having sex with other women. But even that doesn't work, because by nature, man still is designed to expand his territory, through having sex with other fertile women.
By nature, human males live solitary, or in very small groups. Only the most powerful male then owns the right to impregnate women, who are living together in larger groups, like elephants and lions do. In females living together, the females protect each other against every sex-aggressive individual, and the most dominant male keeps away all his competitors. Like gorillas do.
Living in groups, women can have all the cuddling and grooming, and clitoral orgasms they want; as long as there have been women, they knew how to satisfy themselves sexually. Not until the seventies in the last century, women hardly ever were sexually satisfied by men. And if the women need to copulate, that one dominant, fertile, strong man is there. Living in groups, women do compete about ranking, but not about men, since that one man can copulate with all the females that are willing.
Most men didn't and don't like this natural formula of course, having no chance on sex or offspring. When man learned to communicate more distinctively, women were divided amongst all men. To ensure sex and offspring for every man, this was later institutionalized in marriage.
Men like to have sex with every attractive female they meet. Women only need one man, but he better be the most powerful, rich, handsome, intelligent and/or strongest of all; if not, every setback in life is to blame on him not being powerful enough.
Leverage the Differences
Though men and women have similar levels of oxytocin in their bloodstreams, women have more estrogen, which boosts the effectiveness of oxytocin. In addition, the testosterone in men counteracts the calming effects of oxytocin. The way that oxytocin interacts with estrogen and testosterone is at the root of the differences between the ways men and women respond to stress. Researchers have discovered that oxytocin lowers stress in women, but does not have the same effect in men. Stimulating too much oxytocin in a man can actually reduce his testosterone levels. Likewise, too much testosterone in women can lower the effectiveness with which her oxytocin lowers her stress levels.
The problem with having sex to generate oxytocin is that most women first need oxytocin to feel sexual desire. After a stressful day, the last thing most women think about is having sex. It is often the last thing on their “to-do” list. There are certainly exceptions to this, but most of the time stress inhibits a woman’s desire for sex.
Men and women react in opposite ways after sex because of their hormones. The calming effects of this hormonal cascade are why men often roll over and fall asleep afterward. After sex, a man’s testosterone levels can drop for a while, which is why a man sometimes feels a need for greater distance immediately following sex. While a woman’s elevated oxytocin levels put her cuddle reflex in high drive, the dynamic of rising oxytocin and falling testosterone often causes a man to withdraw as his hormones return to their normal balance. Understanding and accepting that men sometimes retreat after sex, when women feel the most connected, can help avoid bad feelings.
A great sex life is not just the symptom of a passionate relationship, but is also a major factor in creating it. Great sex fills our hearts with love and can fulfill almost all our emotional needs. Loving sex, passionate sex, sensual sex, long sex, short sex, quickie sex, gourmet sex, playful sex, tender sex, rough sex, soft sex, hard sex, romantic sex, goal-oriented sex, erotic sex, simple sex, cool sex, and hot sex are all an important part of keeping the passion of love alive.
Great sex softens a woman and opens her to experience the love in her heart and to remember her partner’s love for her in a most definite way. Her partner’s skillful and knowing touch leaves no doubt in her mind that she is important to him. The hunger for love within her soul is fulfilled with her partner’s passionate and fully present attention. An ever present tension is momentarily released as she surrenders once again to the deepest longings of her feminine being. Her passion to love and be loved can be fully felt and fulfilled.
Passion and the Pill
Long-term oral contraceptive use down-regulates oxytocin receptors, requiring more oxytocin. Logically, oxytocin levels in women on oral contraceptives are constantly higher. Because more oxytocin is required to have the same effect, long-term contraceptive use levels your sex-drive and blocks incidental passionate sexual arousal.
Oxytocin and Food
Besides ACTH and prolactin, stress also increases beta-endorphin release. Because by increasing beta-endorphin release (and by increasing noradrenalin release) more oxytocin is released, to fight the stress. However, if endorphin receptors are blocked, they cannot receive the message from endorphin to increase oxytocin release.
These endorphin receptors can be occupied by substances, which look like endorphin, but are slightly different, like opioid peptides from wheat- and dairy products. Therefore, opioid peptides (like morphine and heroine, but not cannabis / marijuana, acting through different (cannabinoid-) receptors) inhibit oxytocin secretion, and diminish libido.
In addition to the opioid peptides in wheat- and milk products, there are more foods containing substances that do influence oxytocin metabolism. By preparing food, new substances originate, like beta-carbolines for example.
The more the food is heated, and the more protein it contains, the more beta-carbolines originate. These beta-carbolines can directly impair oxytocin metabolism and cause and enhance physical stress. Beta-carbolines can also impair oxytocin metabolism directly.
Therefore, consuming wheat- and dairy products and consuming prepared proteinous food (prepared meat, -fish, -soy, -beans) can decrease your sex life, by inhibiting libido.
Protein consumption has increased for over 50 years, and nowadays our food is heated more than once (like in microwave-food). No wonder giving birth has become so much more painful and complicated; giving birth naturally and smoothly requires optimum oxytocin metabolism.
Anti-depressants also inhibit oxytocin release, orgasm and sexual desire through blocking serotonin decomposition.
To prevent obesity, constipation, cancer, diabetes, osteoporosis, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, apathy, physical stress, depressions, insomnia and vascular diseases, and increase libido as well, consume as much fruits, avocado, sashimi and raw brazil nuts.
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