About Body Image
The dictionary defines body image as a person’s
perception of his or her own physical appearance. Body image is formed from a
variety of experiences and, while not exclusive to the female gender, it can be
a problem for many women throughout their lives. Many things affect how a woman
feels about her body -- from puberty to pregnancy to menopause and every media
or personal influence in between.
Menopause may constitute one of such influences. Body
image may be affected by the physical, emotional, and social changes of
approaching menopause life stage. Menopause at an earlier age, caused by
surgery or chemotherapy, can have an even greater effect on self-perception.
Taking steps to improve health will transform and enhance every woman’s sense
of well-being and may help create a more positive body image.
Body Centric View
Be honest: When you think about your body, do you usually
focus on how it looks or on what it can do? If you are all about the former,
then take note: That body-centric perspective might have a serious impact on
how well you handle menopause.
Women, who are more concerned with their physical
appearance, tend to have stronger negative attitude about menopause, according
to a new study published in the Journal of Health Psychology. To reach that
conclusion, researchers surveyed 270 middle-aged women on topics like body
image and perspective on menopause, and also engaged in more in-depth
interviews with a handful of study participants. Unfortunately, the team also
found, women with poor attitudes about menopause might be more likely to suffer
from mental and physical health problems during their menopausal years.
Why the link? Because our appearance, not to mention our
sex drive and mood, tends to change during menopause. So women who have “become
used to being noticed, and have enjoyed the attention this brings… link
menopause with aging and come to resent this phase and feel badly about it,”
says the study’s lead author, Helena Rubinstein, PhD, a professor in the
department of psychology at the University of Cambridge.
And psychological dissatisfaction is not the only
downside, Rubinstein found. “Women who start with negative attitudes towards
menopause could experience worse physical symptoms,” she says.
How to Change
Attitude?
Of course, it is not always easy to avoid an emphasis on
physical appearance. So what a menopausal woman can do to improve her body
image perception?
1. Shift your
perspective
Menopause is a phase of life, not an illness. The women
who were more accepting of changes in their bodies adjusted more rapidly. It
does not mean that you should give it up and exchange your fitness routine for
box of chocolates on a regular basis. Do what you like to do, do what you used
to do, love yourself unconditionally as you are, but be more realistic, and do
try not to focus your entire sense of self on your appearance.
2. Do your research
It is completely normal to feel ambivalent about what is
occurring. The best approach is to find out as much as possible about this
phase of life, so you can be mentally prepared, ready to handle it with decency
and grace, learning on how to enjoy it as much as possible. There is a lot of
information you can get online, or you can engage in the group workshops, informal
meetups, or even more solidly structured multi-day retreats.
3. Get ready!
During your menopause, your life becomes little more
liberated from some of the complications, you have experienced in your earlier
life stages. You are not anticipating coming pregnancy and not raising children
around the clock, as it used to be, so devote time to figuring out on how you
will be able to cultivate wellness during middle age. What are you going to do
to stay healthy for the rest of your life? What can you do to further a cause that
is meaningful to you? How can you connect to people in your life and build
relationships? How can you be a happy, self-conscious, self-sufficient human
being, bringing light and wisdom on yourself and people you love? Finally, you
have time, opportunities, and resources to do something special and private to
enjoy and pursue, something that you have never been able to execute before?
Explore, widen your horizons, experiment, enjoy, get crazy and get ecstatic.
You deserve it!
4. Love your body
Love yourself because you are you. Be confident in
yourself because you are you. Do not let the size you are dictate how you feel
about yourself or how much confidence you have. Do you remember being in love?
Yes, that was time, when nothing mattered and you loved everything in your
mate, every trait, every facial feature, every curve in the smile. May be, it
is time to fall in love with yourself? And, as soon as you do, you might start
noticing that other people are starting to notice the difference and starting
to treat you differently. Little magic transition, worth trying… Body
positivity is contagious. When you accept, appreciate and love your body, that
radiant energy is a compelling aphrodisiac and makes it a delight for your
partner to also love your body in every sense. There is a reverence that comes
with loving your body, creating the possibility for more enjoyment and a
deeper, more meaningful connection to yourself and your partner.
5. Listen to your
body
When you love your body by listening to it, it warns you
when you are stressed, upset or angry. It helps identify when you are happy,
engaged or at peace. This knowledge enables you to reduce what drains you and
integrate more peace and joy into your life, which will leave you thriving
again.
6. Find your inner
goddess
How do you find that inner goddess? Start with a
full-length mirror. Many women play a love-hate game with mirrors, gazing at
the parts they like, and avoiding the ones they do not. They never look at
their bodies as they are. So, find some private time, take off your clothes,
and look at yourself. Let the hateful thoughts run their course, then pass. It
will clear space in your mind for positive ones to replace them. Do not turn
away from your reflection — try to clear your mind of judgment and keep
looking. Now look closely at those parts you struggle with most. Do they remind
you of anyone? Perhaps those full hips once belonged to your
great-great-grandmother. If not for them, you may not even be here—her size
could have helped her to survive pregnancy and childbirth. Our bodies are
living family albums. Pay homage to your ancestors by loving the body they gave
you and the legacy it represents.
7. Compliment
yourself
If you are among those women who strive for perfection,
constantly focusing on your flaws, you might be missing a big picture. Try
focusing on your advantages and finer features. Write down a compliment or two
and refer to it when you find yourself obsessing about those not-so-favorite
traits. There is not a single woman alive who believes she has the perfect
figure, yet every single woman does have something she can be proud of — her
hair, soft skin, eyes, smile, breasts, legs, fingernails, etc... Discovering
and appreciating what makes you special (and sexy!) lets your body respond and
return the pleasure of living every moment fully.
8. Shower your body
with loving thoughts
By projecting negative thoughts on to your body, you are
actually reinforcing the very root of your undesirable weight and shape issues.
The reason most people gain weight, is subconscious desire to fill themselves
with a food, making up for a lack of love. Showering your body with loving
thoughts is the best diet you can go on. You feel better, your body feels good,
and with regular loving practice, it becomes the body, you truly love even if
it remains the same.
9. Feed your inner
self!
Treat yourself good, you really deserve it! Engaging in
enjoyable and emotionally rewarding activities will help you advance on the
journey of learning to feel good about yourself. Spiritual, relaxing, and
entertaining activities may help eliminate or significantly decrease the stress
and anxiety that may keep you critical of your body.
10. Be active!
Exercise tends to make women feel better about their body
whether they lose weight or not. And, breaking the sedentary and passive
lifestyle pattern will definitely help you to fill better, bringing vitality,
courage, and strength to your body.
11. Treat your body
with comfortable clothes
Do not abuse and mistreat your body, trying to squeeze it
in the tight and uncomfortable clothes. Buy clothing (and, perhaps more
importantly, underwear) that fits you and allows you to feel
comfortable/sexy/pulled together/happy. Stop worrying about the size on the
label. There is nothing worse than feeling like you have to starve yourself for
a week to fit into that dress you bought a size too small, because you just
couldn’t bring yourself to buy a size 6/14/24/whatever. Getting stressed about
getting dressed in the morning has an unfortunate way of ruining your entire day,
and sometimes the tight pull of your size-too-small-underwear becomes a
constant reminder of your perceived failures all day long.
12. Do not leave
your body without sensitive touch
Do not forget that your body supplies you with oxytocin
(AKA the "love hormone"). Oxytocin helps you combat stress, resist
disease, calms you, balances your emotions, and makes you want to make love! A
loving partner’s body is the chief 'Oxytocin Dispenser'. Every time he or she
gives you hugs, smiles, kisses, compliments and other loving touches, oxytocin
is released in your body! If you do not have loving partner at the moment, it
does not mean you should remain touch deprived. Engage in the social activities,
held in the safe environment, where the sensual touch is acceptable: parties,
dance workshops, tantra activities, or specially dedicated cuddling parties.
13. Enact a media
ban
Research suggests that men and women are negatively
affected by viewing idealized images of same sex individuals on TV, in
magazines, video games, and on-line. One easy way to stop comparing yourself to
these images is to stop viewing them. Try instituting a media ban for the rest
of the month. No, you cannot control everything, but by making a choice to
minimize your exposure to idealized images you see in the media can go a long
way to helping you fight this source of social pressure.
14. Stop negative
body talk
Stop saying negative things about your own and other's
bodies and refuse to listen to negative body talk. Research suggests that at
some level, our brains do not know the difference between something it hears,
thinks, or says. So telling your friend, "You need to lose five
pounds" is the same as you telling yourself, "I need to lose five
pounds." The same goes for things you hear other people say (or hear on TV
or on the radio). Your brain takes that information in and thinks the message
was directed to you.
15. Psychotherapy
At some point, you may consider professional therapist
assistance to deal with distorted negative body image. While there are
different approaches, which may be considered as very helpful, Cognitive Behavior
Therapy (CBT) is probably the most popular and widely accepted methods to dramatically
improve body image. CBT is evidence-based treatment - meaning that there is
plenty of research to show that it is highly effective in improving body image.
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