Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Menopause Women Poem by LouAnne White

Menopause Women Poem

Author: LouAnne White

They say menopause is a fact of life
Like birds and bees, a man and wife.
Something we are supposed to accept
As part of a woman’s normal affect.

Her body slows down and runs out of time.
They say her hormones have been depleted
As raging moods and hot sweats go untreated.

Her moods are best to go without mention.
Being a bitch is not her intention.
One minute she’s happy and the next she is sad
Then all hell breaks loose as she goes mad.

Never mind her rants and raves
When everyone around her misbehaves.
She’s just blowing off pressure and letting off steam
Winding up to really be mean.

I hope this phenomenon doesn’t happen to me
I’m sure my menopause will be symptom free.
I’ll rise above it, I’ll not let it show
I’ll bite my tongue so nobody will know.

But why am I sweating and getting a rash
I hope it’s not what they call a hot flash?

My face is flushing and turning beat red
Am I embarrassed from something you said?
Turn on the fan and give me some ice
 Air conditioning sure would be nice.

Get that dishwasher unloaded now
Don’t play act like you don’t know how.
Yes it is too your turn today
No use to argue…what did I say?

Where is my telephone, it’s not in my room.
 It better be found or I’ll unload this broom
Across your backside and upside your head
And you’ll go without supper and straight to bed.

Clean up the garage and take the trash out
Why do you always make me shout?
Get off your ass and find something to do
I don’t mean play poker till half past two.

Now I am sweating again and getting a rash
Must be having another hot flash!

My mirror is lying and my scale is not right
How did I gain ten pounds in one night?
My joints are sore and my ankles are thick
I look and feel fat, disgusting and sick.

My hair is thinning and my eyebrows are bald
Lacking in hormones I’ve been told.
Give me some estrogen to improve my moods
So breast cancer can claim my boobs.

I feel so sad, depressed and blue
I want to cry but have complaining to do.
So I’ll eat this donut till I feel better
And I’ll write my honey a nasty letter.

My libido went on a leave of absence
I bade it farewell and a good riddance
I think my memory went on leave too
I don’t remember what, when, where or who

Ooooh… now I’m sweating and getting a rash
But it’s not pleasure... it’s a hot flash!

You keep asking me why I’m so moody?
Why so crabby, negative and angry?
Why do you nag me from morning till night?
Doing everything you can to pick a fight?

I have to bitch to get your attention
I have to agitate all this friction
Things get done when I get mad
So chop, chop there’s work to be had.

Now you’re making me sweat and I’m getting a rash
Must be having another hot flash!

You leave the kitchen with grease and grime
I have to yell at you all the time
To put up your dish and wipe up your crumbs
Why must you all be such lazy bums?

Sweep the floor and don’t be slow
When you’re done there’s a lawn to mow
Now go to your room and don’t come out
Peace and quiet is what it’s all about.

My face is so hot and I’m getting that rash
Damn it now, It’s another hot flash!

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