During Perimenopause, in the transitional period
before menopause, women experience a number of emotional problems and mood
swings, including anger, in addition to physical changes. According to
experts, perimenopause does not cause anger and other mood swings, but
fluctuations in hormone production during perimenopause trigger anger, depression
and other mood swings that are already pre-existing.
Many women, at a slightest provocation, would have
waves of intense emotions, such as anger go through them. Many would be
intolerant of behaviors that transgressed their own limits, and limits of
others. Some women would be focused on their sense of outrage and anger, and
would intervene, frequently on behalf of others.
Suppressed
Anger
According to a classic psychosocial epidemiological
study, suppressed rage is linked with higher mortality rates, elevated risks of
certain cancers, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease in both men and
women.
A team of researchers at Stanford University in
California found that women who repressed their emotions were more likely to
show disruptions in the normal balance of the stress
hormone cortisol, compared with those who did not. Earlier studies have
shown that the unbalanced cortisol fluctuations can predict early death in
women with breast cancer that has spread to other areas of the body.
The difficulty with anger in women is that although
it is a perfectly natural emotion, few women are taught to express it in a
positive way. As girls, many were cautioned that anger is “unladylike,” and
expressing it should be avoided at all costs. As adults, these women may have
trouble untangling their anger from a knot of other emotions, like anxiety and depression.
Younger women may have been raised under looser constraints, yet still find
themselves bewildered, guilty, and depleted by their angry feelings, which can
simmer just beneath the surface, or explode uncontrollably at random moments.
Anger is extremely powerful. It helps us clarify
objectives and propels us to safety — but it can take a big toll on our health,
happiness and loved ones. The key to getting the full benefit of anger is to
understand its biological and emotional roots, and then to make the necessary
changes to put you — not your rage — back in control.
From social perspectives, it is quite easier for men
to express their anger, in part because society accepts and “relies” on their
aggressiveness for protection. While many can condone a man who explodes, women
who voice their anger are often looked down upon.
Biologically, the “male” hormone testosterone
has been associated with aggression and irritability in men, at both low and
high levels. Women with a testosterone imbalance may evidence a similar
tendency to blow. They just usually express it differently. However, it’s still
unclear whether people who are angry have more testosterone as a result of
generating it while angry or because a deregulation in their
testosterone levels might cause excess anger.
What is clear is that men are far more likely to
strike out at another person or object in anger, whereas women are more prone
to express anger indirectly or at themselves. Younger women are now given more
leeway to externally express anger and are doing so — but it’s often
misdirected toward a “safe” target (like a spouse or child) instead of the real
source. Therefore, many guilty feelings in women can be traced back to
misdirected anger, and studies on gender and anger show that women most often
feel shame, guilt and resentment in response to angry outbursts.
Logical
Way to Overcome Suppressed Anger
1. Understand that
anger has no place inside you.
Most people have repressed anger towards someone or something. The biggest
problem is that it is very hard to relieve. This is because people have always
looked at anger as a negative emotion. That’s the way we have been trained to
think, when in fact, there is nothing wrong with anger. It is a natural emotion
and an accepted response to negative triggers; it is never meant to be kept
within. So as long as it is released and expressed, it does not become a
pollutant in your life.
But when you choose
to hide, ignore, or deny the emotion, it gets buried in your psyche, and once
embedded, it can rot and fester until its effects become so powerful that it
negatively affects all aspects of your life.
2. Understand that
anger requires a solution. The
problem with suppressed anger is that it invites more anger and more problems
and conflicts into your life. When something makes you angry, it is a sign that
there is a need for change. If you ignore or hide your anger, then the
situation that triggered your anger in the first place will not be changed.
This leads to the possibility of that same problem to come up again in the
future.
Use our Wellness Diary to
track your anger pattern. Note whether you become irritable at
certain times of the month, after eating certain foods, or under certain
circumstances. These triggers are stressful to your body, and will set off your
alarm. Learning to spot them in advance helps you retrain your reaction, giving
the “thinking” part of your brain the upper hand. This is why counting to ten
before you react really works! It may take practice, but working on it each and
every time your anger emerges will make a big difference over time.
3. Use it
positively. Remember, anger is
energy, a powerful force. So just think about it: if it can create such
powerful effects when used negatively, it can also be used to wield positive
effects. There is a way for you to transform anger into a positive emotion. All
you have to do is be in control of it, instead of let it control you.
- Be responsible for your anger. Recognize your own
emotion and make a personal decision to release it and transform it into a
positive force in your life.
- Express it in your own way. Find some way to express
your anger. One of the most effective and safe ways of doing so is to
express it in writing. You don’t even have to worry about grammar or spelling.
What’s important is to let the feelings out. Even if you don’t emotionally
express the anger, writing about it is one way of letting it out so it
does not get trapped and start poisoning you from within.
4. Learn to
forgive. It is impossible
to overcome anger towards a person if you do not learn how to forgive that
person. Forgiving does not mean you have to go right back to the previous
relationship you had with that person. Many people are not willing to forgive
because they think forgiveness will benefit those who wronged them. But the
truth is, when you choose to forgive, you are the one who benefits from it
because you are finally freeing yourself.
If you are having
difficulty forgiving, use positive affirmations and visualization. Visualize
your life without anger and use subliminal messages to teach your subconscious
to let go of negative emotions that hold you back.
It is even more
important and occasionally is more complicated to forgive yourself!
Practical
Recommendations on Dealing with Anger
Smart
Anger Channeling
Seek out a safe place to be furious. Before
confronting the object of your rage, talk with a trusted friend, co-worker or
counselor who can help get to the root of what's pressing your buttons. Thinking
it over with someone safe may help you figure out less hostile, more
instructive ways to express your feelings with a loved
one, colleague or boss.
Approach the person who sent your blood boiling in the first place. As a general guideline, the more significant the relationship, the more important it is to articulate feelings in a constructive way. She suggests trying something like, "This is bothering me. Something has to change. How can we deal with it?"
Identify the reason behind the rage. There's always something underlying an angry reaction. The trick here is to find the trigger. If it's not obvious, keeping a log of anger experiences may help you uncover patterns. For some people, professional help may be needed to delve through deep-rooted feelings of shame and anger that started in childhood.
Approach the person who sent your blood boiling in the first place. As a general guideline, the more significant the relationship, the more important it is to articulate feelings in a constructive way. She suggests trying something like, "This is bothering me. Something has to change. How can we deal with it?"
Identify the reason behind the rage. There's always something underlying an angry reaction. The trick here is to find the trigger. If it's not obvious, keeping a log of anger experiences may help you uncover patterns. For some people, professional help may be needed to delve through deep-rooted feelings of shame and anger that started in childhood.
Physical
Exercises
Simple changes in your life style can lessen stresses, such as, anger and other mood swings, during the period leading to menopause. Following an exercise regimen is one good way of reducing anger during menopause. Exercise, a great stress-reliever has antidepressant and anxiolytic (anxiety relieving) effects. Regular exercisers typically have fewer mental and physical health problems, and brisk walks three times a week will help you during Perimenopause to reduce the severity of anger and other mood swings.
Exercising also stimulates endorphins, hormones that
reduce the sensation of pain and affect emotions, such as anger, and boosts
Serotonin levels. Serotonin regulates cyclic body processes. In addition,
exercise helps you sleep better, and controls weight gain, which is normally
associated with perimenopause and menopause. It is far better to take out your
pent up emotions and anger on the jogging/walking track and the gym equipments,
than on your family, friends and colleagues!
If you have a medical condition, consult your doctor
before deciding on an exercise regimen. It would normally take several weeks,
as much as four months, before you will see improvements in your mood swings
and anger.
Creativity
Release anger through
creativity. Depending on your personality and situation, a
soothing activity that feeds your soul can be very healing. Allow your true
colors to show through your creation — whether it’s a meal, painting, craft,
song or dance — any creative pursuit that allows you unfettered self-expression
can help you let go of your anger and move on.
Cooling Off
Take several deep breaths. If you find yourself blinded by heat-of-the-moment anger, try to buy some time to cool off a bit, especially if you think you're at risk of harming someone physically or emotionally. You may even need to walk away from the situation for a while. Remember, though, that in the long run, fleeing the scene won't help you express yourself. So ask for a few moments to collect your thoughts and then say what needs to be said.
Use this break to practice useful relaxation
techniques achieved through breathing.
Standing or sitting, stretch arms out to the side just away from the body while
mentally sending the tension down the inside of the arms and out through the
fingertips. Then do a few minutes of even meditative breathing to calm the
body-mind. Example: breathe in one count; breathe out one count; breathe
in one count and continue.
If you have a bit more time to cool off (like 5
minutes), you can try walking meditation approach. Take a walk, swinging your
arms back and forth - when your right foot steps forward, your left arm swings
forward, and when your left foot steps forward your right arm swings forward. Keep
your breathing even, such as 2 steps to breathe in and 2 steps to breathe out. While
walking, think about the reasons you get angry in the first place? Frustration
with others or yourself?
Anti-Anger
Diet
Effect of Diet on Anger During Menopause For women
in perimenopause and menopause, diet has a great effect on the emotional
aspects, such as anger. Diets rich in protein and especially Omega-3 fatty
acids, reduced intake of sugar, caffeine and carbohydrates, etc, should be
highly preferred. Salmon, tuna, and other cold-water fish and flaxseed oil are
the sources of Omega-3 fatty acids.
Red clover helps to
regulate female hormones due to its high content of phytoestrogens, plant-like
compounds that act like estrogen on a woman's system. By reintroducing the
estrogen-like properties with red clover, a woman's body may be able to more
easily regulate a hormonal imbalance triggering irritability, anger and other
emotional changes.
Black cohosh has
some estrogenic effects on the body and provides many of the benefits of
estrogen without the danger of artificial hormone replacement therapy. It has
been used for centuries by traditional herbalists to balance women's hormones
and is still used to relieve menopausal symptoms, including irritability,
anger, mood swings and depression.
The Indian spice
saffron is used frequently in Ayurvedic medicine for the treatment of
menopausal symptoms related to depression, anxiety, anger, irritability,
insomnia, mood swings and other emotional upsets.
Supplements
Along with adding diet and exercise to your
lifestyle, you can add supplements to help with symptoms of anger during
perimenopause and menopause:
- Amino
acid tryptophan - a natural relaxant that reduces anxiety and depression
by increasing serotonin levels.
- Gamma-amino
butyric acid (GABA) - It works as a natural tranquilizer.
- DLPA
(D, L-phenylalanine) - It bolsters mood-elevating chemicals in the brain
and blocks a nervous system enzyme that amplifies pain signals. It is a
more effective pain reliever in combination with GABA.
- B-complex
vitamins also can play a role in boosting mood and improving tension and
stress levels in menopausal women.
- Tyrosene - It is a natural stimulant and very appropriate to get rid of mood swings.
Sources
and Additional Information: